Another school shooting had left us knee-deep in a laborious debate we'd had many times before. I know asking about politics on a first date is like talking about your ex: taboo and arguably idiotic. Bush, and he cringed when I said I voted for Barack Obama, but we pushed forward anyway because, well, whiskey and sexual chemistry are two powerful unifiers.
But I fell in love with the rest of him, and the conservative views came with it.
In the cases of police violence against young African-American men, like Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin, Frank often defended the police, while Amy attacked her husband’s “sense of white privilege.”“Frank has said things to me like, ‘Had I known you felt this way, I wouldn’t have married you,’ ” Amy said. As a recent Vox headline read: “Political Identity Is Fair Game for Hatred.” A study by Joseph Grenny and David Maxfield, cofounders of corporate training firm Vital Smarts, found that 1 in 3 people have been “attacked, insulted, or called names” over political clashes, and 1 in 4 have had a political debate hurt a relationship.
According to the online poll of more than 1,800 people, most heated political sparring matches—40 percent—take place at home.
He argued, "It's people, not guns," and I countered, "It's guns that make it easier for people to kill." It was easily the 28th time we'd argued about gun control, with no foreseeable end in sight. We small-talked about football and basketball, our favorite bands, and our families, and then he asked for my number. The thought crossed my mind (and his, I later learned) more than I like to admit.
The whole date I kept thinking, Until, of course, I asked him about politics.